"Big Ole Jet Air O Liner..."

Of all the goofy, touristy pictures I've taken this may be the goofiest. This is the plane we took from Melbourne to Singapore. I was seated on the top level in business class which, to my disappointment did not have a bar. Once I was in my seat I was asked by the flight attendant if Iwanted to change into pajamas? Was he asking me to slip into something more comfortable? Is this the mile high club? Couldn't I just watch the in flight movie? Actually, I've considered becoming a half member of the mile high club but Debbie tells me I'll go blind.

anyway, I politely declined stating that I generally sleep nude and that I have a tendency to sleep walk. If you find me wandering through coach later on, please don't wake me up.

The flight attendant was not amused, actually, I thought it was pretty funny myself. People in business class need to lighten up...

New Friends

Here's a quick shot of me with the IT Support department at a pub in Australia. We would have invited other people from the office, but they were all trying to get their computers working or something like that. As you can see, aside from my colleague Karrie and local Jacquelyn Kearns (Jack) I possess the follicular requirements of being on this IT team. Cheers lads...

Safety Travelling Abroad

Here's a quick tip for you. When travelling to a different country it's best to try to blend into the cultural surroundings. Wearing baseball caps and Bruce Springsteen T shirts is not the best strategy when trying to fit in with the locals. Here I am looking very stealth like in Sydney. Wish'd I brought my giant foam finger with the USA #1 on it.

We Leave Tonight For Singapore

Today's title listed above is from the Tom Waits song, "Singapore." It appears he had a very interesting time while he was here. Here's a few lines:

"Don't fall asleep while you're ashore."
(This is the first thing I did when I got here, but I slept at the hotel.Maybe I'll sllep on the shore tonight...)

"The whole town is made of iron ore." (There's construction across from my hotel that is incredible.)

"Fill your pockets up with earth. Get yourself a dollars worth." (Like many things here, I'm certain this is illegal in Singapore.)

"The captain is a one armed dwarf. He's rolling dice along the wharf." (Okay, Tom's not the most stable of indiviuals, but everyone I've seen thus far are blessed to have all of their limbs. also, dice seems a better choice than cards, shuffling with one arm must be a drag.)

Regardless of the mindless banter you just endured, I'm exited to be here in Singapore. It's a very clean and manicured city that I'm eager to explore. Singapore is also known for having great cuisine, especially out in the many food stands around the city. I'm hoping to experience new things and I'm intent to limit the meals eaten in an actual restaurant. I'm ready and willing to try just about anything and I'm armed with a full bottle of Immodium, so stay tuned...

Open Letter (Birthday Card) to the Kids

One of the real bummers about this gig is that you sometimes find yourself on the road when something important is happening at home. In the past number of years I have missed the occasional football game, band concert or open house. It's fun travelling but there's always an emptiness that you're not sharing the experience with the ones you love. Anyway, yesterday was Zachary's birthday, and to be honest Vanessa's celebration took a back seat to both a neighborhood event and preparations for my current trip. With this in mind I'd like to convey a few words about these most special people.


You kids are a royal pain in the arse as they say here, but your our royal pain in the arses. I cannot tell you how proud I am of both of you. You are each special in your own way and possess the talent and ability to do almost anything. You have both proven to be very kind and considerate to people and it's always been commented that you are two of the most polite and well mannered kids people have seen.

Your mother will probably kill me for saying this, but years from now we'll laugh when we reminisce about your messy rooms, th eoccasional blunder in school, or the time the "F" word slipped out at the family function. This being said, try to stay out of real trouble. You're both at an age where you'll experience many moods and different influences. Choose carefully, and don't do anything you'll regret. In the long run all you have is your integrity, your reputation, and your self respect. you'll find yourself much easier to like and you'll be able to move much further ahead if you're not carrying the emotional baggage that comes with regret.

In a very short period you'll be driving, going through your high school years then off to college and a career. This is where the real foundation of your life is built. Make sure it's solid.

It's important to not only fill your life with people you love, but also people you like

If it's safe and won't hurt you or anyone around you, embrace as many experiences as you can. Just make sure they're positive.

Believe it or not, there's no such thing as bad music. There's just what you like and what you don't like. Don't be afraid to listen to music that's deemed uncool. If it it sounds good and touches your soul, then so be it. I can't tell you why I like Journey, Bryan Adams, Neil Diamond, or Barry Manilow, I just do.

Cherish each other. You are the only borhter and sister you're going to have. You choose whether you'll have a life long great relationship or one that is strained. It's a lot more fun to have the former.

Organize yourself as much as possible as you'll find work, play and anything you do easier. Take this from someone who is both obsessive compulsive and a huge procrastonator at the same time. I want all of those soup cans to be aligned perfectly, I'm just not willing to take the time to do it myself.

READ anything and everything. Give me the name of any real successful person and I can guaranteee that they are a veraciuous reader. This is especially true of your current interests in the arts. It's cool that you can act, sing and play guitar, but you need to have something to say if you really want to move people.

Stop not trying different food. There's a ton of amazing things to eat in this world. IF you're limiting what you'll try you're limiting the things you'll discover that you actually love. And by the way, you're driving your poor mother crazy. Vanessa, yes you do like pasta. Zachary, I'm sure you can eat mashed potatoes without actually gagging. Get over it.

Fish won't kill you
Fruit is yummy
Vegetables aren't gross
You can't live on Pop Tarts and Cheese Its
Despite what your uncle Jimmy and Billy say, I make the best Calabrese sauce. Your grandfather's isn't even close!

Find a career that you really want to do in life. If you truly love it, the money will come and it won't ever seem like work. Embrace your passions. I can only imagine the success I would have if I pursued the things I loved. At least I did this with your mother.

Speaking of her. Cherish your mother. She's simply the best of the best. Recognize this and help her where you can. The time you invest with her will bring returns for the rest of your lives.

love you guys a lot!!!! Looking forward to getting home.

New and Interesting People

One of the great things about travelling abroad is that you have the opportunity to meet new and interesting people. Here I am sitting with an Aboriginal tribesman (He's on the left.) He's playing a Didjuridu and was playing what he called indiginous music. to be honest it sounded like the beginning of Aeromsith's "Sweet Emotion" but who am I to question him. Actually when he was taking a break I swear I saw him checking his Blackberry and drinking a Starbuck's Latte.

I should also mention that many people are incredibly interested in what's going on back home with the election. There is an overwhelming hope (no pun intended) that we elect candidate Obama. If you're interested in other people's perspectives, people outside of the U.S. still cannot believe we elected Mr. Bush to a second term. They think he's an idiot and has adversely impacted the country in so many ways that it will be decades before we recover.

There's a real hope that we in the U.S. can pull ourselves not only out of our current issues, i.e. war, economic downturns, but maybe gain a better perspective of how we live. I met one woman who stated that she loved people from the U.S. but feels sorry for us in that we live in a constant state of fear. She feels that our government and the special interests adversely affect the way people live and are robbing us of our personal freedom. I fear she may be right.

In the very little travelling I've done outside the country I have been exposed to people who display a certain confodence I don't see at home. They seem to value the quality of life and have a much better work life balance. Even the people in the occassionally stuffy and impersonal world of insurance seem to embrace one another in a way that I wish we would. Bosses and front line entry level workers mix at the pub during lunch or after work. Family and personal time is valued and embraced. It's an interesting and enlightening thing to see.

There's no doubt that as temporary visitor I'm seeing things with rose colored glasses. But for me, I'll take the positives from the experiences and try to implement them in my own life, and I don't just mean going to the pub more often...

"Holy Bat Sh...!"

I'll finish this post later, but the bats I mentioned in a previous post don't live in cave or some far away hidden place. The hang in the trees of the botanical gardens right in the center of town. I couldn't help but be fascinated by them. I stood in the park for a good hour just watching them hang and fly from tree to tree. They do have this incredible shriek that would scare most kids. This is an amazing place...

A Few Words On Campari

I had dinner at one of those revolving dinner places last night, but here's the only picture I took. My friend Tim is a big fan of Campari and he's been nipping at a bottle I bought almost 5 years ago. It's amazing that it still retains the same unpleasant, nasty, disgusting taste that it had 5 years ago. I think Campari is Italian for fermented sweat sock juice...Hi Timmy!!

Little Stevie Blunder

Yesterday during lunch I had to run back to my hotel to get a few things. When the elevator opened Stevie Wonder and his entourage walked out. I said to the guy next to me, "Hey, that's Stevie Wonder, man I'd love to get an autograph." The guy said, "Yeah mate that would be splendid, but here's the thing, Stevie Wonder is blind." I felt like an idiot. Anyway, here's a picture of Stevie Wonder signing autographs. I'd like to report that I got one, but sadly when I stuck out a magazine for him to sign, he missed and signed my forearm. Just kidding...

Under The Bridge Down Town

So here I am at the summit of the Harbour Bridge in Sydney. Our Guide said that it was built sometime during the 18 or 1900's and is something or other feet tall. To be honest I wasn't really listening (nothing new.) As you can see they give you these Ghostbusters type suits and everything you're wearing, hats, gloves, handkerchiefs, are all clipped. They also make you take a Breathalyzer and you have to remove all metal objects. You also can't take your own camera. They say it's for safety reasons but it's more likely to charge you $29.95 for lousy two pictures. I hated to do it but how many times do you get to capture a shot like this? It was really an incredible experience and Sydney at night is simply beautiful. The one thing that was missing however was the family. I especially wanted Zachary up there with me. I miss them very much.

One interesting part of the ascent was looking at the dozens of fruit bats that were flying around us as we were climbing, many of them with wing spans of up to 5 feet. Most people were creeped out, but not me. I didn't eat anything before the climb, so I was dreaming of the bats with the Colonel's seven secret herbs and spices. Mmmmm, battylicious!!!

Has Anybody Seen The Bridge?

Here's a picture of the Harbour Bridge in Sydney. One of the fine folks in the Sydney office has scheduled a few of us to do the Bridge Walk. The Bridge walk takes you...well, across the bridge. but here's the thing, it's across the very top of the bridge. Apparently they put you in some type of jump suit and you are tethered. Oh, by the way they give you a breathalizer. Too bad, it would have been nice to go... More on this in a few days.

Living (visiting actually) In a Land Down Under

I left the house at 2:00 on Sunday afternoon and finally arrived in Sydney at 9:00 Tuesday morning. It's a hell of a long flight and it was a bit surreal. I knew I was off to explore a whole new world and on the second leg of my flight I was in business class with a bunch of other travellers, each of us in our own little pod. At one point during the night I woke up to see a an electric blue light radiating through pod land. It seemed very reminiscent of the suspended animation scene in the first Alien movie. Regardless, this is an amazing place. I took this picture my first afternoon here and also was blessed to get a closer look during my morning run (actually, it's kind of slow mutated jog. picture Herman Munster with a pulled hamstring.) The little I've seen of Sydney lives up to its hype. It's beautiful, lush and green wiht fantastic weather. The people are incredibly friendly and haven't violently responded to my repeated requests to throw something, anything on the barbie.

I am a little disappointed in myself as I've promised ot eat only food I can't get in the States, but the pasta with sausages were pretty good...Cheers mate!

I Like People...I Swear

I pride myself as an individual who likes to meet and learn about new people with one exception; I have a difficult time engaging in conversations on planes. This is especially true when I'm on a long flight. There are multiple reasons for this, but the biggest reason is my inability to stay awake. I don't know if it's the recycled air or the gentle roar of the jet engines, but if there were a hijacking you could count on the fact that the terrorists would have little difficulty subduing me. They may even get me a blanket. Not long ago I was booking a flight to London when my boss suggested that we sit next to each other so we could get some work done and get to know each other a little better. I politely passed knowing that it would not bode well for me to conk out and drool all over her. Another reason is that I don't want to make polite conversation for hours on end. I'd rather say hello, read, work, listen to music or slide into the previously mentioned coma.



As I started my latest trek I encountered my ultimate nightmare of a travel neighbor. The plane was completely full and I was one of the last people to board the plane. I was travelling from Boston to Sydney Australia with a connection in L.A. and I was anxious about this first leg, the only one where I wouldn't be booked in business class. To make matters worse, I was in a middle seat. When I got close to my row, the 300 pound plus man said, "You're not going to find a place to put your bag." My heart sunk. It was true, the airline's genius move to charge people to check bags has prompted people to fill up the overhead bins like my new found friend jammed himself into his and a little of my seat.

Once I got the bag squared away some 30 rows behind me, I sat and he started talking. And when I mean talking, he was babbling. He was in Boston for a family reunion, he used to be a DJ, his kids don't speak to him anymore, what did I think of the new Eagles album? I was hit with a barrage of information I wasn't remotely interested it, especially the Eagles new shitty album. Things got worse when we finally started taxiing down the runway and he started flipping through the pocket in front of him, "Man, I should have brought something to read with me for this flight!" No worries, I can talk to the nice bald man about my new heart condition and my love for all things orange.

The flight went on, we chatted, and I politely turned to my reading. Nothing too heavy, just Rolling Stone. Babbles, not having anything to do and obviously attempting to lure me into further banter kept commenting on the pictures in the magazine. Then the coughing started. Not a mild little clear the tickle out my throat mind you, but a loud, violent, productive hack. Excellent, I thought, I've always wanted to have a cold in Australia. This cough occurred every 8 minutes without fail, all the while hacking into his right untissued, unhankerchifed, unnapkined hand.

Every time he spoke, I could feel his hot breath bouncing off of my face. He must of though I was slightly austistic as my new speech impediment appeared as a result of trying to hold my breath and speak at the same time.

After while, not having anything better to do, he proceeded to fart. I couldn't hear them, but I was starting to catch wafts of the corned beef sandwich and Schlitz he probably had earlier. I knew he was rationalizing his gastrointestinal sharing as harmless because he couldn't smell them, but the guy on the other side of me could and probably thought I was the culprit and I was obviously dying from the inside out.

To make an already long story short, he finally slipped into unconsciousness and started drooling on the floor in front of him. I considered putting my foot out for a free shine but I didn't want to get my socks wet.

The flight and my misery finally came to an end, but not without one final moment. What was I to do when he put his phlegm hand out to say goodbye (which he did)? Now I know why Michael Jackson wore that glove. I'd write more but I have to go nurse this cold...

Chili Cook Off

I've got to tell you; as cool as a chili cook off may sound, it really isn't. Here's why; every goof ball thinks they make the best chili in the entire chili loving world, but as American Idol, kids who wear their pants hanging off of their ass, and those who just love country music show, bad taste abounds. Here's the other thing, while a bowl of chili may be fine, sampling 12 different chili's with secret ingredients like bacon, maple syrup, bourbon, or Pop Rocks, your stomach can only handle so much. I participated in a company sponsored chili cook off more than 9 hours ago and I'd still appreciate it if someone would kill me.

The wierd thing is the event was meant to boost the annual charity giving season. An effort to raise awareness and money for a number of good causes including food shelters. We did this by gorging ourselves.

Next time your asked to take part in a chili cook off, be a jerk and say, "If you've tasted one chili, you've tasted them all." Then go get yourself a nice sandwich. Your breath, spouse, kids, and behind can thank me later...

King George The Wicked

My reality is that I am not the king of my castle. Meet George, a.k.a Jorge, or "Mr Poo Poosh." George was adopted by my wife and although admittedly cute, he's kind of an asshole. He'll be nice to you if he's in the mood, but he won't hesitate to chase and bite you if it suits him. He sleeps between Deb and I and he used to bite me if I tried to get near her. He was our own live form of birth control.

A few weeks ago he showed his affection by pissing on my side of the bed right in front of me. He's probably jealous I still have all of my bits and pieces. Get those pets spayed and neutered everybody!

Unintentional Collage

This is the side of a building across the street from the Fox Theater in Atlanta. There's no deep meaning to the shot, I just don't know anybody here.

I thought the composition interesting and something that would probably look good on canvas, but I'll never do it. This is the real beauty of digital photography...

That's nice...

So you're bored enough to view the ramblings of a man with an attention span shorter than the average Ramones song. I'm not entirely certain where this thing is going to take me but I figure it is a good place to keep in touch with those of you who are interested in keeping in touch. I'll be off to Australia , Singapore, and Hong Kong in a few weeks so this will serve as a travel journal, documenting the high adventures of the average insurance schmuck. Hopefully I'll have something interesting to report. In the coming posts, you can be assured of outrageous tales of insurance groupies, hanging on the red carpet with celebrities, and the occasional bar room brawl. As you can tell, I'm not beyond temptation of the occasional embelishment.

Bless you Samuel Clemens wherever you are...