I Believe!

I, like most people want to believe in a higher power, and it is with this in mind that I seek evidence of a devine force. This morning while I was getting ready for work, I noticed that our inattentive offspring neglected to restock the roll in our downstairs bathroom. While I intended to attend to it, I became distracted and continued preparing myself for the day. A brief time later nature called and I retreated to the downstairs bathroom only to find that the once empty holder had magically been transformed and now featured a big new white roll, full enough to wrap myself and anyone else willing into a Charmin Mummy Cocoon. Niether of the kids were around, so it must of been the act of a higher power. 

You who are reading this may or may not believe, but at that moment I conveyed my thanks. 

Insult to Injury

One of the things they don't tell you when you live your life as a bald man is that in the winter time when you shave your head clean, your knitted winter hat has nothing to hold onto and refuses to stay perched atop of your Lester Lightbulb, Uncle Fester, Shrek like head. If that's not bad enough, the next day the knitted cap refuses to come off of your head due to the Velcro effect of knitted fabric and your horse-shoe shaped, 5 O'clock shadowed stubble.

On the bright side, the lack of quaff reduces wind resistance and allows you to run super fast. This assuming you can run super fast in the first place. Which of course, I can't.

Patriots Playoff Loss

It pains me to see everyone around here so bummed out because our millionares lost to Baltimore's. No potential SuperBowl victory for us. I guess the local, rabid sports fans will now have to wait for the Bruins to win the Stanely Cup before they can turn cars over, burn dumpsters and riot in the streets.

Mistaken Identity

Yesterday, I was driving through South Carolina. While I was waiting at a red light I noticed a young, pretty girl in the sports car in front of me. She saw me in her rear view mirror and immediately smiled and waved. It was obvious that she thought she recognized me, but quickly realized I wasn't her good friend Christain Bale. At the next light I thought about pulling up beside her and saying, "Hey, you thought I was one of your really good looking friends, huh?" but I decided not to. I didn't want to risk her saying, "Oh, sorry about that. I though you were my dad."