Jack History Month - Frequently Asked Questions

What the Hell is Jack History Month supposed to be? Okay, February is Black History Month and it just so happens that my birthday is the beginning of the following month and Jack seems to appear to rhyme with Black. no disrespect to the prior month and the dedication to a fine people, but Jack History Month is an opportunity to introduce a little levity and cure us of our seasonal affective disorder. It started out as a joke and a goof and spoof. Hey, it’s hopefully harmless fun and something to do, and I’m not asking you to help in my Mafia war, stock my farm or paste my post into your post if you have no post to post.

Are the stories real? Yes, the stories are usually rooted in some historical event, but they’ve been embellished to make them a bit more readable and entertaining, which is a nice way of saying that there’s an element of bull sh*t to them. Let’s call them “Historical fiction. Hopefully, you found some of them hysterical fiction. My wife just says I’m delusional.

Are you really that much of an idiot, I mean what’s wrong with you? The sad fact of the matter is that I’m a bit of a goof ball. Always was, and always will be, but my perspective of this is much like that of male pattern baldness. You can try to comb it over, but everyone still knows what you’re trying to hide. It’s better and far more liberating to embrace it and enjoy the advantages of it. Bald people who shave their head have no problem with the wind, running, or swimming. Self proclaimed goof balls can do goofy things and people say, “well, he’s just being Jack.” It is what it is.

You mentioned my name in a post, shouldn’t I receive royalties or some other form of compensation? More than likely, if you were mentioned, you run in the same social and intellectual category as me, which means at some point you’ll receive some type of government support or an honorarium from a scientific research foundation. Seriously, it doesn’t ever look like I’ll derive any income from this endeavor so, don’t hold your breath.

Do you have a real job? Where do you find the time to write this crap? Yes, I’m gainfully employed, but I do try to carve out a little time in the evenings to write. As you can tell, I’m not a professional writer. My process usually involves a little inspiration, a little wine, and a lot of spell checking. Contrary to public (and my wife’s) belief, I’m not actively on Facebook 24/7. I usually have it on in the background and refer to it when I have some free time.

Are you available for personal appearances or private parties? No, Deb says I can’t do this anymore. The last and only time I made a public appearance was at a local nursing home. I addressed some old ladies Red Hat society. Unfortunately, they kept whooping, whistling, and using their false teeth like castanets while they shoved dollar bills into the waistband of my pants. Thankfully, I out ran their walkers and Little Rascal scooters to safety. Thankfully, I only had to push a few of them out of my way. Actually, it wasn’t a total waste. The tapioca, strained spinach and whipped haddock were delicious!

Do you have any political aspirations or a plan for world peace? Actually, yes. I hope to vote in the next political election and maybe the one after that. As far as world peace goes, I think it would be really cool if everybody was just a bit nicer to each other. Those who have gravitated to these pages to share stories, pictures and communicate seem to possess the fundamentals of what a community should be. The boys from the band WAR said it best when they asked, Why Can’t We Be Friends? Well, why not!