Canadian Cuisine. Gravy on Fries? Really?

I was researching restaurants last night to try to find something that reflected the local culture here in Toronto. One of the places I saw listed their cuisine as "Canadian." I clicked on the menu to see nothing but steaks and fish. No special sauces, no indiginous crazy dishes. No elk, no reindeer, no moose and no goose. How the hell did this mix of steaks burgers and fish make it Canadian? Could I at least get Canadian Bacon on my burger? Upon asking some of the locals, they stated, "we don't have a cuisine per say, but if there is, it probably includes bacon and mushrooms." Bacon flavored mushrooms? that'd be a good start.


At the restaurant we eventually selected, I had a Canadian appetizer called "Duck Confit, Poutine". I was so excited and hey, it sounds pretty good, right? Wrong. When they brought me the pile of french fries with cheese, gravy and shredded duck I immediately thought they brought me the wrong dish. Actually, it looked like the discarded table scraps from another table. It didn't taste any better. Heavy, greasy and all out "ducking" terrible. I wept in my Molson Golden Ale.


This morning, just for the hell of it, I typed Canadian Cusisine into Wikipedia and got responses of such culinary delectables as, Beaver Tale, Maple Taffy, Smelts and Chicken Balls. I kid you not, there were even notations referring to Kraft foods and Jello. Planning on booking your next vaca here? Don't bother. It looks like Salt Lake City without the mountains. and if you do come here, pack a sandwich.


What do you expect from a country who's primary export is Moosehead Beer, Bacon and Celine Dion? A country that has currency called the Loonie. A place where the French population wants to cecede. I suppose we should, however give a nod for Neil Young, although the truth is he high tailed it south 40 years ago and hasn't returned. Sugar Mountain? How about Simi Valley.

Look, Canada is a fine place but one that seems to struggle with it's cultural history and cultural cuisine. They should take a lesson from their neighbors down south and partake in the delectable offerings of such American Culinary Mecca's as Chili's, The Macaroni Grille, Applebee's, or that salad and bread stick haven known as the Olive Garden. Look kids, we're not much better.

In all fairness, I've only just started to scratch the surface of what this place has to offer. The people are great and the place is really clean. The money is a lot of fun with their Loonies and Twonies, Purple $10bills and Red $50s. It's like being in play land. It's colder than hell, but not much colder than the climate I just left. As far as the food goes, Deb and Jen say I'm a picky eater and a food snob, which may be true to a certain extent. I can tell you that if I order something that sounds french and they bring me something with fries and gravy again, I'm going to snap and publicly insult Wayne Gretzky, Rogi Vachon, and Ken Dryden. I've never been kicked out of a whole country before...