Subterranean Homesick Blues

I've been on the road for almost two weeks and I'm dying to get home. Although this has been a very successful trip, admittedly, I'm a little homesick. For eleven days I've had a relationship with my wife by dialing the phone and typing on email.

When I get home I'll mistakenly think "it's all about me" and I'll expect all to smother me with affection. Undoubtedly I'll get hugs and kisses but it won't be long before Deb threatens to douse me with cold water.

Travelling is fun and eating out is cool, but I want a peanut butter sandwich and milk with real hormones and yummy chemicals in it. Is the Salmonella thing still happening back home?

I realize my days of leaving the bed unmade and throwing my clothes on the floor only to come back to the room to find everything neat and tidy are over. Deb has informed me on many occasions that there aren't any house maids at our estate. (Is this a comment about my laziness, or the fact that we can't afford a maid...actually it's all the same, isn't it?)

I want to have a bottle of water that doesn't cost seven dollars American.

I'm tired of flipping through only six channels on the television. I want to be able to not find anything to watch on three hundred channels like we do in America.

I'm eager to get back into my workout routine. I have been getting up to go to the gym in the morning but it's so difficult to pass up "Saved By the Bell The College Years." That Screech kid is a riot.

The people here are great but entertaining is actually work. You always have to be "on" when you're travelling. It's more fun hanging out with friends at home where I can call someone a d*psh*t without fear of repercussions outside of a retaliatory bald joke.

I like and miss the fact that I can just walk into anyone of my neighbors' houses without knocking. I tried that here but it didn't go over well. By the way, the security guys are really gentle here at the St Martin's Lane Hotel. The pepper spray is more Pablano than Habanero. It's actually quite refreshing.

I hear myself picking up some of the local dialect. Yeah, I know it's English, but there's a different way of speaking here. I even hear a touch of an English accent although I'm mangling it to death and sound like a "Bloody Wanker. "

The economic situation is very precarious here. I can't wait to get to the financial stability of the U.S.A.

We've done 22 training classes in 10 days and have received good feedback. I wonder if I'll inadvertently give Deb an evaluation form after our date night Saturday?

London weather is London weather. I wan to see the sun, even if the temperature is two degrees.

See you all soon.