Home at Last, Home at Last. Thank God Almighty, I'm Home at Last!

I'm finally home, but not before a marathon of a day consisting of meetings and a demo just before noon. Some of the Brits took a colleague and I to a pub for a few laughs, farewells and follies. This is never a good idea because it's very easy to drown a few pints in a matter of forty minutes or so. Not that this is a problem as it was a pleasant time, but far more pleasant than the ride to Heathrow with a bladder full of once proper English ale, now transformed through the digestive process into Miller Lite. I was in traffic, teary eyed, uncomfortable and dancing in my seat. I actually thought of putting my iPod to justify my "pee pee" dance to the driver.

I had a bit of a dilemma as I was on the same flight home with the CIO of my company. I knew she was sitting in business class, but somehow through mileage point status, I had been upgraded to first class. How should I deal with this? Should I be gracious and insist switching places , or should I wish her well in the lower class seats and politely ask her and the ruffians in her section to keep it down? My fears cooled when I discovered that American Airlines eliminated First class on their transatlantic flights, but a new problem emerged. I now was blessed with a seat next to my very senior, very intelligent, and very important mentor. What if I fell asleep and drooled all over her? would I be able to watch Sponge Bob on the in-flight entertainment, or worse, what if I watched a movie and they showed a booby or something? If I had to relieve myself in any way, would I have to sit in discomfort until we travelled the 3,000 plus miles home? What if she was behind me in customs and what if they checked my bags? This is exactly why mom insisted I keep my underwear clean.

In all seriousness, it ended up being a very enjoyable. We got a little work done and discussed my career aspirations. I had a couple of cocktails and relaxed. It was a long flight made short by a developing friendship. I also had the benefit of piggy backing on her status and had a limo ride back to my house, which was, as my luck would have it, was witnessed by absolutely no one. Remember that scene in Aurthur where Liza Minnelli had the chauffeur wait until Ms. Litman, her neighbor could see her come out of the Rolls Royce?

I had a great welcome home by the family, and received many kisses, especially from the dogs which seemed appropriate because after such a long day we shared similar breath. After the hellos and dispensing the gifts Deb and started toward bed and I got my first taste of being home. For the first time in two weeks I had to wait for the bathroom and ended up "conking" out on the bed, half dressed, teeth un-brushed and without relieving myself of the technically imported liquid again holed up in the aforementioned bladder.

I slept deeply, but dreamed about being back in the car to the airport until I forced myself to get up and wander into the bathroom. peeing the bed on the first night home would not have impressed the missus.

I did my duty and finally brushed transforming my Johnny Rotten choppers into minty pearly off white teeth. Unfortunately, I was now wide awake and it was only 3:30 in the morning. I thought reading would relax me enough to go back to sleep but decided TV would be much easier. Much to my disappointment, I couldn't find Cricket, Rugby, Darts, Sheep Herding or any of the other English television favorites. I returned to bed only to be awoken by an alarm clock at about 6:30 with Deb asking if I wanted to wake Vanessa up and take her to the chorus field trip she was travelling to at 7:30. Now here's where the whole perspective thing comes into play. From my perspective, I should be given a pass because I have been travelling and I was obviously tired. From Deb's perspective, she has been carrying all of the weight of the house, kids, work, and her schooling and she deserved a break. Recognizing this and the fact it is Valentine's day I did what I thought would be an example for myself and all men. I faked being asleep until she kicked the blankets over, got up, and drove Vanessa to her thing.

I now get to enjoy the trappings of all things home, at least until Friday when I jump back on a plane and head to Ireland for a week. The great thing is that Deb will be coming along. If anyone deserves the break and the trip, it's her. I imagine Ireland will present itself as a very beautiful place that will inspire much romance. Then will it be her turn to fake it...