We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

There's a hole in the ground where the McDonald's used to be. It's not that Micky D's has packed up and headed off somewhere else, it's that they're building a bigger restaurant, if you can call or categorize McDonald's as a restaurant.

I drove by the fenced off hole and had a brief daydream about how this probably came about. It's a little silly, and it made me chuckle, but there's probably a bit of sad truth to it.

I pictured a board room of McDonald's execs who are in the midst of a staff meeting. It goes a little something like this:

District Manager: "We have a problem in our Dover store. The people there have gotten too fat to get into the restaurant. We need to come up with a solution and we need to come up with it quick. Who's got an idea for a possible solution? Johnson!"

Johnson: "Why don't we start offering more health conscious foods that have lower calories and lower trans fats. We could also reduce the size of the "sugary" sodas. I mean who needs to drink 64 ounces of Coke in one sitting?"

District Manager: Hmmm...That would make a lot of sense. Hmmm, Johnson?"

Johnson: "Yes sir?"

District Manager: "You're fired! Clean out your McDesk and get out of here. Okay, does anybody else have any bright ideas? How about you Smith?"

Smith: "Why don't we build a bigger restaurant with wider doors, wider reinforced seats, and ramps so people can ride their scooters right to the counter?

District Manager: "Smith, you're going places. Let's get your plan into action. Who's ready for lunch?"

end