I took a new job. One of ancillary
benefits of this career move is that I’m now working literally 2.5 miles from
Casa De Calabrese. I joked with my people, boasting that I would start walking
to work, but most times when I conveyed this I neglected to mention that I
worked in the very same building for five and half years and never walked once,
but now I’m actually doing it. As with any of my life experiences I have a few
observations to offer.
Of the 5,000 or so people that work in this complex, it
appears I’m literally the only one walking.
I believe it is because of this fact that the walkway in the
complex is extraordinarily dangerous because no one walks anymore and people aren’t
use to looking up from their texts to notice the big bald pedestrian with the coconut
shell headphones
Also, no one notices me while I’m standing at the edge of
the cross walk waiting for someone to stop. It looks like I’m standing on the
edge of the track at the Louden Speedway.
When people do notice me, they give me a double look with
the expression of “Shoulda called a cab DUI GUY!”
Speaking of DUI, it was trash day here in Dover and as I walked
along I noticed that almost every recycle bin was loaded with empty beer, wine
and liquor bottles. I never realized how popular peppermint schnapps was up here.
Also, as turned the corner to what is the longest stretch of my walk, a trash
truck pulled up just ahead of me and I had the luxury of following its rancid
smell for a good mile. When I made it into work, I had to douse myself with extra
Hai Karate so I wouldn’t smell like Haymarket in July.
If you happen to be driving through Dover and you see me walking
along and singing, don’t stop to offer me and Hall & Oates a ride. We’re really
doing this intentionally.
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